I Interrupt this Holiday Season to talk about . . . Twinkies

What is it about Twinkies?

Seems like everyone has gone crazy over Twinkies . . . now that they can’t get them anymore. Even in the past week, long after I thought that Twinkie fever and mourning over Hostess’ demise would have died down, I saw a piece on the news about some Chicago dive, Baby’s Cheesecake and Lemonade, that actually bought up the last of the Twinkies—10,000 of the sweet, gooey cakes—and was giving them away for FREE.

When a reporter asked the owner if it was worth the investment, he replied, “Every penny. It brought you in, didn’t it?”

Smart man. Growing his business on the back of Hostess.

Personally, I don’t get it. I am not sure I’ve even bought ten Twinkies in my lifetime, let alone ten thousand.

But let me tell you, even though I probably played a small part in throwing Hostess under the bus—I bought Twinkies exactly twice—Twinkies and I have a history.

The first time I bought Twinkies was when I was pregnant with my second daughter. I knew she was a girl even before the ultrasound confirmed it because I craved sugar like nothing else. With my first daughter I craved sugar, too—Dove ice cream bars that time—so I just knew she had to be a girl the second time around as well.

With my second, I craved Twinkies. Usually my “craving” consisted of a fleeting thought every day. “Hmmmm, I haven’t had a Twinkie since I was a little girl. I wonder if they’re still good.” “Gee, a Twinkie sure sounds good right about now.” “O.K., I think I just have to have a Twinkie before this pregnancy ends.”

Finally, one day, that small craving became a full-blown obsession. I was at work, teaching young minds, pretending to be interested in modifiers and parallel sentences. But all the while I kept thinking, “Twinkies. Must. Have. Twinkies.”

My students never knew.

I hope.

After work, I drove as fast as I could to the Jewel. I parked my car. I ran as quickly as my chubby ankles would allow, straight into the store. And there I stood, in the middle of the store in the ready position, just like a football player on the line of scrimmage . . . only I was wearing a huge maternity tent dress.

I was like a mad woman.

I finally grabbed a checkout girl by the shoulders, looked deep into her eyes, and screamed, “Where are the Twinkies?!”

It wasn’t pretty. But she directed me to aisle 3.

I quickly purchased the beloved gems—No, I don’t need a bag, thank you—and I ran to the car. I opened the cellophane. No, I tore the cellophane, and gobbled those Twinkies like a starving person who hadn’t eaten in a month.

Thirty seconds of glory, it was.

Worth every calorie. And every ounce of humiliation.

My second encounter with Twinkies actually took place sometime during Kate’s first grade year. She must have heard kids talking at lunch, filed away the information for later, and came home just bursting to ask me a question.

“Mom, what’s a Twinkie?” I think she might have been hopping from one foot to another.

Seriously? That was what she couldn’t wait to ask me? I just had to laugh. Out loud.

And then I asked her to repeat the question.

“What’s a Twinkie?”

Because that was the moment when I realized that I had succeeded as a mom. You see, it took six years—SIX YEARS!!—before my daughter even knew that such a thing existed.

Sure, she had had McDonald’s fries before she turned two, and Teddy Grahams had pretty much become a food group in our home, but my darling six year old didn’t even know what a Twinkie was.

My first Twinkie incident might have been my most humiliating, but the second became one of my proudest Mommy Moments.

And because my poor daughter had been so deprived for six long years (talk about a death sentence!), I bought the child a box of Twinkies on my next trip to the Jewel.

She carefully opened the cellophane, took one long look at the soft yellow cake with its three holes poked in the bottom, and said, “Is this all it is?”

She ate it, satisfied that she had at least taken a stab at the American cultural icon. But then a funny thing happened—the box I bought for her sat . . . and sat . . . and sat in the pantry until one day I finally threw the Twinkies out.

I guess my girl preferred my homemade treats over the ones wrapped in plastic.

My second proudest Mommy Moment.

Now tell me . . . what do YOU think about Twinkies? What’s your favorite Hostess treat? (Mine is the Suzy Q, and I will miss her.)

Sales Call

A word-for-word transcript of a call that took place in my home last week: 

“Hello, may I speak to Shelly’s parent?”

“Excuse me?”

“May I please speak to Shelly’s parent?”

“Well, Shelly’s parents live in Arizona.”

Silence.

“Uh. Oh, really? Do you take care of Shelly?”

“Yes, you could say that. I definitely take care of Shelly. Shelly is almost 50 years old.”

Silence again.

Deep breath.

“Well, my name is Greg, and I’m calling from the SAT prep program.”

Click.

Help Wanted: Decorating Assistance

Yesterday I mentioned, for the hundredth time, my windowless office. I love having my own office, even if it is in the LOUDEST DEPARTMENT ON CAMPUS. And, no, that would not be the English Department.

The English Department is quiet and serene, a peaceful oasis in the jungle of academia. English people stay behind their office doors reading. And writing. Quietly.

But the English Department is also crowded, and being the lowest person on the totem pole I get to have an office in a different department on campus (which shall remain nameless). A department that is filled with extroverts. Who leave their office doors open. And who shout to one another across the department.

"HEY, BERT, WANT SOME COFFEE?"

"SURE, SALLY. THAT WOULD BE GREAT! AND DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE STUDENT I WAS HAVING TROUBLE WITH LAST WEEK?"

No, Bert, you didn't, but I'm sure we'd all love to hear about her. Not.

Truly, I'm not complaining . . . even though I am. I appreciate having a place to meet with students and sometimes to just close the door and think.

This semester, one of my goals is to use my office to write more. I'm only teaching one class, so I'd love to take some extra time to use that space as long as I have it.

Of course I might have to buy shares of Pandora for all the free music I'll be playing to DROWN OUT ALL THE NOISE.

*ahem*

But the thing is . . . and here's where I have to lay myself open and be very vulnerable with you . . . my office is kinda, dare I say, ugly. If I'm going to be inspired to write, I think I should have a space that's, well, inspiring. All this space does is inspire me to grade papers--harshly--and to make comments like, "Expand this idea" or "Is this sentence necessary?"

Oy.

And have I mentioned that it doesn't have a window?

Brace yourself, I'm going to show you a picture.

This is the view from the doorway; it's what I see every morning when I arrive.

Note the stone wall--the only semi-interesting aspect of this room. Note, also, the lack of books (that comes with the lack of Ph.D).

Here's the same little room from a slightly different angle.

Several things to point out here. First, the only "decoration" is the teeny-tiny post-it note on the wall--my reminder of the computing services department phone number. I've called them a few times this year.

Second, notice the desktop computer tucked away behind the filing cabinet. My calls to computing services are usually to say, "Hey, any chance you could get this big, huge, hulk-of-a-computer out of here? I use my own laptop and have no need of your hideous desktop."

And then there's the filing cabinet. Enormous, to say the least; ugly, to say some more. The only splash of color in this entire photo is the teal-colored box sitting on top of the filing cabinet that has been there since I took possession of this office last summer. I have no idea what it's for. But have I taken the initiative to get rid of it? No, I have not.

And finally, just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, here's the view from my desk to the door.

One little table that I use when I have conferences with students. One chair that looks like it's from the 1970's. And one old telephone sitting way back on that shelf. I would bet you a million bucks that no matter who I called to come take that phone away, it will still be sitting there at the end of the semester.

So now, here's the challenge: tell me what to do to spruce up this office. It really is time to do something with it.

Obviously I need pictures on the wall. I'm thinking something like this:

Or this:

Cool, huh? Those might be a little pricey, though, for an office that is probably temporary.

I'm really not much of a decorator, so I need your input, dear readers. What do I need?

Photos of the fam? A colorful throw for the chair? Flowers for the table?

So tell me, what would you do to spruce up this windowless office?

Random List on a Monday

School starts for me today and that means lots of things. I thought I’d just jot them down and see what you think.

1. It means that I actually have to find something other than jeans to wear every day. This is a problem for me since I really only have about three pairs of “dress” pants and one winter-appropriate skirt that I wear with tights. What can I say? I’m a minimalist. (B, don’t answer that.)

2. And, come to think of it, I only have three pairs of jeans I can wear in the winter (that aren’t cropped in some way).

Does this mean I need to go shopping? I think so. What do you think?

3. Winter is a relative term around here these days. We have had no measurable snow to speak of (and by that I mean any snow that would warrant a shovel), and it has been pretty much in the 40’s and 50’s these past couple of weeks. I’m thinking winter may pass us by altogether, and that would be just fine with me.

Maybe I won’t need to go shopping after all.

4. School starting again means that I should probably give some thought to meals.

But why start now?

5. I’ll tell you why. Because I’m sick and tired of scrambing to figure things out around 3:00 every afternoon, that’s why. Part of me longs for the old days when I sat with a notepad on Sunday afternoons, figuring out meals for the week. What happened to that organized mother o' three?

School happened, that’s what.

Here are a few more things I know about the start of school:

6. It won’t be long until I have to start grading papers again. Family beware!

7. I have two of Kate’s very good friends in my class this semester. That should put an interesting spin on things. 

8. I don’t get a Spring Break. Well, I DO get a Spring Break . . . when my other girls are still in school. And when they have Spring Break, I don’t. This could quite possibly become the biggest obstacle to my going back to work.

9. My class is at a different time this semester—it’s in the afternoon rather than the morning. I really loved having an early morning class last semester; I will mourn its passing.

But I hope to use my mornings (and my windowless office!) wisely this semester. My plan is to still go in early and write for a couple of hours before I work on class stuff. Think that will work? Me neither, but it's a worthy goal.

10. Speaking of the windowless office. I should really write a blog post about that space because it needs some serious sprucing up. I’m not much for decorating, especially since I don’t know if I’ll be back next year, but it needs a little something. Color, perhaps?

So there. A few quick thoughts about school starting up again.

What are your thoughts this morning?

How NOT to parent your almost-not-a-teenager

My mom used to say to me, “Little kids, little problems; big kids, bigger problems.”

I never really understood what she meant until last weekend.

It was Friday, late-afternoon, when my phone rang. B was on the other end, calling from the speaker phone in his car; Kate was sitting next to him since she rides to work with her dad every day. This is an important detail to remember because . . .

Rule #1: Don’t discuss your daughter’s sketchy weekend plans with her sitting right there next to you.

B: “Did you know what Kate wants to do this weekend?”

Me: “Well, sort of. She mentioned it, but I wasn’t thrilled about it so I thought I’d wait to discuss it with you.”

Kate: “WHY WEREN’T YOU THRILLED ABOUT IT? WE’LL BE FINE!”

Kate’s roommate was coming into town for the weekend, and the girls had made plans. Big plans. City plans. Plans that would have been great if it weren’t a matter of finding some random independent bookstores in a neighborhood that they had never been to. Or if the Taste of Chicago wasn’t opening that weekend with a crowd of about a million or so expected to show up . . . all at once.

Rule #2: Don’t mention parking as the primary obstacle.

B: “The city is going to be a madhouse on Saturday. The Taste is opening, and it’s going to be impossible to find parking.”

Me: “Yeah, it could be a little rough, Kate. You’ll spend all of your time trying to find a place to park, and that’s just frustrating.”

Kate: “WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT PARKING? MY CAR IS SMALL. I’LL BE FINE!”

The big deal about parking, if you’ve ever been to downtown Chicago, is that there is none. It’s the kind of situation that will make you pray for a parking spot, if you’re that kind of person (which, by the way, I most certainly am). And during the Taste of Chicago, which is a super-fun family event, there are a lot of mini-vans crowding the streets and filling the parking garages. Can you say nightmare?

Rule #3: Don’t appeal to their sense of beauty. These girls are completely unaware.

B: “Seriously? You expect me to send you two into THAT neighborhood all by yourselves? You’ll have every guy staring you down.”

Me: “Yeah. Remember New York?”

Kate: “WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL? WE REALLY AREN’T THAT GOOD LOOKING. WE’LL BE FINE!!”



Um. Yeah. Whatever.

Rule 4: Stay calm. At all costs. Do NOT appeal to your higher authority.

B (losing it): “Kate, we are your parents, and we will decide IF and WHEN you can go into the city by yourselves. We can keep you home if we want, you know.”

Me (trying to maintain an even tone): “Kate, we are trying to respect what you’re doing here, but we’re also trying to figure out the safest way for you to do what you want to do. Work with us here.”

Kate: “WE ARE ALMOST 20 YEARS OLD! WE’LL BE FINE!!!”

We ended the phone call by saying that we’d talk more about it when they got home. Which they did, about 15 minutes later.

Later that night we calmly, rationally, quietly (sort of) sat around our kitchen table and hashed out the details of what Kate wanted to do. They wanted to visit three bookstores near the University of Chicago and then go to the Taste of Chicago, which is in a completely different part of town, which would mean moving the car, which would mean dealing with a lot of traffic.

O.K. Now, if I were going to the U of C, I would drive. I’ve done it lots of times before, but these were very precious girls who wanted to go, and one of whom, I know, doesn’t have the best sense of direction . . . even with a GPS. I almost suggested driving them myself, but I knew that wouldn’t fly, and driving by themselves wasn’t going to be an option because of their second destination: the Taste of Chicago.

No parking, remember?

So we suggested that the girls take public transportation. They could jump on the train right near our house and head into the city—that part was easy. They’ve done it a million times. But to get to the bookstores they wanted to see they would have to take the L down to Hyde Park.

Silly us. We just assumed they would take a certain train to a certain stop because the CTA website told us it was the stop for the University of Chicago.

Rule #5: Don’t believe the CTA website.

The girls headed out, found the L stop they needed, hopped on the train and headed to what they thought was the stop for the U of C.

Here’s the text I got from Kate a short time later:

“Turning around and heading to the Taste. Asked directions from a cop and he told us to be veeerrry careful. It just doesn’t feel safe.”

And a follow-up: “Got hollered at just one too many times. Going back.”

*GULP*

Rule 6: Don’t panic.

This mama wanted to jump in her car and head right down there to rescue those two princesses. But they are 19 years old and perfectly capable. Both girls have travelled extensively, so they know how to read a train schedule. They know how to ride public transportation. They are smart girls.

All this I kept telling myself.

But oh my goodness. My girl? Hollered at? In the city?

It was just a little too much for my heart to take.

A short time later I got this text: “Made it to the Taste.”

Looong exhale. She would be fine.

Rule 7: Check and double-check.

Later, when the girls got home . . . safely, I might add . . . we had a good laugh about their situation. Turns out, there is a different train that would take them very close to where they wanted to go. I would have known that if I had just picked up the phone and called my friend, Jane, who lives right there. (Hi Jane!) She could have told us exactly what they needed to do to get to the bookstores . . . safely.

When I asked the girls what happened they told us the whole story. They got off the train at the station that we . . . the parents . . . had told them to, but when they looked around they realized they were not in Kansas anymore if you know what I mean. They stopped at a Walgreens near the station to ask for directions from the security guard at the door (that should have been their first clue—our Walgreens down the street doesn’t have a security guard!). The guy told them that it was a long walk to where they wanted to go, and then he looked them in the eye and said, “Girls, you need to be veerryy careful.”

I don’t know what the girls said to one another as they headed down the street. I don’t know what they were feeling as they were getting cat-called. I wish I could have been there to protect them, but I wasn’t.

I just thank God that He sent angels to protect them and to give them the common sense they needed to turn around and go back.

Which leads me to . . .

Rule #8: Don’t forget to pray.

As a parent of teenagers, you can’t always say “Do this” and expect immediate results. You just might have to talk your way through a situation, explain your position, and listen to theirs. It’s a give-and-take that can feel a little thorny, scratchy, uncomfortable.

And, sadly, you do have to let them grow up, try new things, which might, inadvertently and never intentionally lead into some situations.

In the end, you just have to pray that God will protect them. And I’m so glad He did.

Despite our poor parenting.

Random Summer Post

I don't know why I have such a hard time getting going early in the week. I have all sorts of blog ideas running through my head all the time, but then the weekend comes and I get into relaxation mode and then Monday comes and I'm into the pick-up-the-house-and-do-the-laundry mode and blogging just doesn't seem to want to come.

Maybe it's summer.

Which is officially TODAY. Yippee!! Let's party. Let's celebrate. Let's enjoy every moment of the season that is much too short.

Source: imgfave.com via Shelly on Pinterest

Anyway, I have a whole lot of nothing rumbling around in my brain, and I figure I'd better just get it out on paper the screen so I can toss it away and forget about it.

So hold on to your hats, here comes the randomness.

* * * * *

I'm missing one certain member of our family who has chosen to take her summer where it's colder and rainier and crazier because of all the kids. Caroline is counseling at the camp she's gone to forever, and she left last week. One down, seven to go.

I miss her. The house feels different without her.

And yet, at the same time, I know for sure that she's where she should be. Because that girl? That girl is a servant. And that girl comes alive when she's up there. And for some reason I just know it's where she needs to be.

But it doesn't stop the missing.

* * * * *

I spoke to a small group of college girls last night. That was fun, but I spent a week and a half preparing and all day yesterday practicing. Still, I came home and told B, "I could think of at least three different ways I could have done it better."

What is that? All the self-doubt and criticism?

Funny thing was, I was talking about finding our identity in Christ. Did I not listen to my own talk?!

I drive myself crazy sometimes.

* * * * *

Here's my random day today: Write something. Anything. Buy some food . . . of any kind . . . because my family is starving. Have lunch with a friend who has moved away--high point!! Take the car to the shop for a very minor repair but that will probably take two hours. Make dinner.

Sounds like fun, no?

* * * * *

I have to send an email today that makes my stomach flip and my heart all a-flutter. I won't tell you what it is, probably ever, but I'm torn between not wanting to do it and really wanting to do it. And I'm already a day late because, you see, I challenge myself to send those difficult/exciting emails by a certain date. And I didn't get around to it yesterday, so today MUST BE the day.

Will you just shoot up a prayer that I'll actually press "send" today? Many thanks.

* * * * *

Have I mentioned that B gets a sabbatical this summer? And that it's four weeks all-in-a-row? And that we are getting giddy with excitement because we're leaving in less than three weeks? And that I will be gone from my house, physically, for four weeks? (I've never done that!)

Julia and I bought inner tubes and floaties the other day and for some reason that made me so excited. I'm hoping for lots of sunny days and very little rain and fish that bite.

Oh, have I mentioned that they really don't have internet access where we're heading? I'm in a little bit of a panic about that one, but here's the solution. I'm thinking about just taking a blogging break for that month.

What do you think?

* * * * *

Speaking of being gone for a month . . . got any good book suggestions?

Source: everythingfab.com via Shelly on Pinterest

A Whole Lotta Nothing

Alright, enough is enough. I've got the "Fabulous Friday Food" title staring at me, and I can't take it anymore. It just screams, "You haven't been blogging!!!" to me, and I can't take the guilt/pressure/feeling of worthlessness.

Isn't that sad?

So I'm posting right now just to get that "Friday" off of the top of the page.

Yes, sad indeed.

I don't have that much to tell you, so I'll just tell you about our weekend. Which was the first "real" summer weekend we've had around here since, well, last summer. Seriously, Memorial Day weekend was so cold and foggy and rainy that it seemed like March.

But last weekend. Now THAT was some weekend. God really outdid Himself, I gotta say. Thank you, God!! I needed a little summer in my life.

Have I mentioned that I live in Mayberry? I've actually driven through the original Mayberry, North Carolina, and let me just tell you that where I live is even more Mayberry than the actual Mayberry.

Let me explain.

Friday started out great because around 5:00, my friend, Rebecca, who lives down the street called to say she had just made sangria and would I like to come have a glass with her? Folks, I was out the door before we hung up the phone! What a great way to start the weekend. Do you think Aunt Bee drank sangria with her friends?

Also, this past weekend was a huge festival in our town. Huge. With ferris wheels and food tents and music. So on Friday night, which is also Classic Car Night, we decided to walk downtown for the festivities. And for the ice cream. (My friend, Ann, owns an ice cream shop that I GUARANTEE is cuter than any ice cream shop Opie Taylor ever visited.)

All five of us were home, so we all walked downtown together. I don't think that has happened in a couple of years, so it was great. We ate ice cream, strolled through the car show, and bumped into, I think, about a hundred various friends and neighbors.

SO. MUCH. FUN!

I love where I live. (In the summer.)

On Saturday we went to my favorite French Market . . . oh, the joy. And Julia had a piano recital at a nursing home here in town. So sweet! Half of the audience was sleeping by the time she played her pieces, but they clapped anyway. Best of all was Saturday night when we had an impromptu porch party with a few friends we hadn't seen in a while. I think impromptu parties are the best kind of party because they are so unexpected and everyone feels so happy that it worked out the way it did. Awesome time with friends.

Sunday was filled with church, brunch, and graduation parties. Or so I thought. We went to one party--Amy's daughter, very special--and then to the second.

And here is where my weekend goes slightly awry.

We drove up to the house and all was quiet. Very strange considering they were having a graduation party. No cars on the street, no kids playing games in the yard. Nothing. There was no way I was going to ring the doorbell, so I told B to just head home. When we got home, I checked the invitation.

The party was Saturday.

Soooooo, on to one other exciting bit of my weekend. Apparently the older folks in Mayberry don't like it when you stop at a crosswalk. For real.

Sunday morning after church we headed to our favorite little breakfast joint. B and I took separate cars because he had to be at church early, and I came later with the girls. So I had the girls and a friend of ours in the car with me--five women all together. B, bless his heart, was all alone in his car. The girls and I were chatting away as we girls do, laughing maybe as well. When all of a sudden, as I was stopping at a stop sign, an old lady and her husband practically walked right in front of my car.

I might not have seen them because I might have been glancing over my shoulder at the girls. (We were laughing after all.)

I might have put on my brakes a little too fast. (But I DID stop behind the line.)

I might have laughed a little harder and louder when I realized that I almost hit the old lady in the red t-shirt and her husband who were shuffling across the street in front of me. (I kind of have that nervous-laugh reaction when I almost hit somebody.)

The red-t-shirt lady decided at that moment that she should go all Sheriff Andy on me. First she gave me the "what the heck?" look. I can totally give her that. I'd do the same thing. But then she just kind of stood there, in the middle of the intersection, in front of my car, lecturing me! Presumably about my driving. Or maybe she was complaining about the long wait at the breakfast place. I'll never know because my windows were rolled up, firmly, and there was no way I was going to roll them down to hear what she was shouting at me.

Besides, we were all laughing too hard to hear anything anyway.

So I drove down the street to park the car, and we all started walking toward the restaurant. Who starts walking BACK across the street? Oh yes, red-t-shirt lady. And who then proceeds to march into the very same restaurant we were going to? You got it!

Needless to say, I waited outside for our table to be ready. But when we finally got seated, who was sitting RIGHT behind me?

Oh yeah. Red-t-shirt lady.

Is that what they call karma? Or just bad luck?

I call it just another weekend in Mayberry.

Your Royal Wedding Watchers Guide

Alright, Anglophiles. It’s game time.

This week is OUR Super Bowl week, and Friday is the Big Game.

Time to exercise your clicker finger. Time to bake scones. Time to pull out that old bridesmaid’s dress and wear it.

It’s Royal Wedding Week.

There’s just a bit of buzz about the Royal Wedding going on around here. Three girls live in our house. Are you kidding me?! We’re just a little bit excited.



We will be celebrating with a group of college girls (along with any high school or junior high students who might want to get up early) at 5:00 a.m. Tea, scones, and cucumber sandwiches are on the menu.

As a public courtesy, I thought I’d give you a few ideas to enhance your Royal Wedding week.



Websites
Of course, your RW stage central is the Official Website of the Royal Wedding. Here you’ll find pretty much everything you’ve ever wondered about the Royal family, its history, and their friends. You can even find a seating chart . . . just in case you’re wondering where to sit in Westminster Abbey.

Fox News also offers a Royal Wedding page on their website, complete with the guest list and plenty of videos.

And then there’s the BBC. The BBC website offers love stories, a map of the wedding route, and even a Middleton family tree (I guess that’s just to prove she really is a Commoner).

Just for Fun
Boden, THE place for adorable British fashion, is THE place for Bingo this week. Go to their website to download Royal Wedding Bingo cards that you can play during the ceremony.

And while we’re having fun, how about a movie? One of my personal Royal family favorites is “The Queen.” It’s particularly fitting right now since it’s rumored that Wills and Kate will be honeymooning in Balmoral, and much of the movie takes place there.

(As an aside, why anyone would want to honeymoon in Balmoral, where it’s cloudy and foggy and about 45 degrees all year long is beyond me. But, hey, who am I to talk? I went to Wisconsin on my honeymoon. But that’s another story for another time. Or never.)

Another favorite British movie that has nothing to do with the Royal family but is one of my favorites is “Notting Hill.” Because . . . why not?

Finally, for a HUGE laugh, you have to see the Man Hater’s Channel Lifetime movie “William and Kate” played by C-list British actors who have never been to St. Andrews let alone ever ridden in a Range Rover (not that I ever have either, but hey, one can dream). To properly watch this movie you have to gather a bunch of friends together, drink a couple of glasses of wine, and only use your fake British accent all night long.

This movie just has to be experienced to be believed, but thankfully Lifetime has given us a 30 second trailer for their stellar film. Watch this and get in the mood for Friday.



So tell me, how will you be celebrating the Royal Wedding this week? WILL you be celebrating the Royal Wedding?

Fuzzy

Well hello there!

Just me, your local invalid. Convalescing.

I tell you, I am not one to sit around and do nothing, and I am REALLY not one to get sick. Oh sure, there might be a surgery every now and then, but ever since my nasty little encounter with a scalpel three years ago, I've taken my health pretty seriously. My family will laugh when they read this, but I totally believe in the power of the probiotic (they've listened to me preach it too many times, I guess). I've been taking probiotics for about three years now and I rarely . . . RARELY, I tell you . . . get sick.

Except for this week.

Well, yesterday I was sick of being sick and I was sick of my dreary self, so I decided to just pretend this little virus/infection thingy wasn't going to get me down. So I did my usual day which included laundry, a couple of errands, meeting a friend, making dinner, and helping one child with a resume. What I didn't count on was not being able to sleep and then having my husband come home at midnight (!) from a church meeting.

Today, I'm back down. Oh, I tried. I made a valiant effort to go to Bible study this morning, but I had to leave early to go back to bed.

So while I'm lying here just waiting to feel better, I thought I'd just pop in to say hello. And to list off some things I've been meaning to tell you.

1. Take a look over there---> See the "Followers" tab? It should read 150 or greater by now. Thank you to so many of you who took the challenge and followed me over the past week. I will be handing out that Anthropologie gift card tomorrow, so get ready!

2. Check out these amazing shoes. We walked into a shoe store in Charleston last week (probably to escape the rain) and these were just sitting there, much to my delight and to the confusion of my family. I guess my squeeling, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" just didn't make sense to them.



You know why these caught my eye? BECAUSE I HAD THE EXACT SAME PAIR OF SHOES WHEN I WAS IN 8TH GRADE!!!! No kidding. These were my all-time favorite pair of shoes. Of all time! I loved those shoes so much and I wore them to DEATH. I wonder what ever happened to them. Mom?



I guess I should have held onto those shoes. They're catching a pretty penny these days: $120. Whooo!

3. Congratulations to the Texas A&M women's basketball team. National Champs. Pretty impressive. And I know my niece, Kira, was cheering them on last night. Gig em, Aggies!

4. One more South Carolina picture. Have you ever seen a tree that big?



This is the Angel Oak on John's Island, SC. We usually have to make a quick visit to the tree whenever we're in the area because it's just so . . . amazing. It's said to be one of the oldest living species of anything east of the Mississippi--about 1,500 years old. I don't know why, but it boggles my mind every time I see it.

What can I say? I love trees.

5. Have you ever seen that scene in "You've Got Mail" when Meg Ryan gets sick and Tom Hanks comes over for a surprise visit? He brings her daisies (her favorite) and she throws her trench coat around her as a make-shift bath robe. She's sitting on the bed with wads of kleenex all around her and she says, "My head is fuzzy. I can't think." And then she makes that cute, pouty little Meg Ryan face and Tom Hanks falls in love with her all over again.

Yeah, that's kind of how I'm feeling right now. Fuzzy. So take the daisies you brought and put them in some water, cover me up with a blanket, and tip toe out the door.

I'll see you tomorrow.

A List for Thursday

{photo credit}

All sorts of random thoughts are floating around in my head today, so I thought I'd just list them out.

1. My 13-year-old daughter informed me on our way to church last night that she really, truly is the only person in her entire school of 650 people who does not have a cell phone. She thinks that makes her a geek. I think it makes her unique.

2. I must write a post sometime about our cell-phone policy. The Wildman Way (Thanks to Caroline's friend, E, for coining that phrase) states that cell phones shall not be issued until said user enters high school. I guess we like to keep them geeks for as long as possible.

3. I also learned at church last night (hanging out with junior high girls is SO informative) that kids no longer use the phrase "burnout." Go figure. Apparently "druggie" is more PC. Go figure again.

4. Why was I using the term "burnout" at church last night? It's a long, complicated story. Kind of like, "Give your life to Jesus and don't end up like the burnouts do" kind of thing. Only not quite that bad.

5. Charlie Sheen is probably a burnout, but whether he is or whether he isn't doesn't really matter to me. I'm tired of him now.

6. I'm having a mascara crisis. I'm using Loreal somethingorother right now, but it just doesn't seem to be, I don't know, enough. I have very thin, skimpy lashes. Any suggestions?

7. I miss these.

Now go make it a good day!

P.S. There will be no Fabulous Friday Food this week because even though I made THE most delicious beef stew of my life this week, I neglected to take pictures of it. And besides, I'm attending the Women of the Word seminar in Chicago for the next three days and things like cooking and blogging will have to take a back seat to meeting people and learning good stuff and laughing like crazy with my friend, Cheryl.

It's Here! It's Here!

When the doorbell rang this afternoon, I felt like the dad in "A Christmas Story." I looked at Abby who was blithely sitting at the counter eating peanut butter cookies, my eyes reeeaal wide, and said, "It's a major award!"

It wasn't really a major award, but I sure felt like it was. Because I'd been waiting all week for this.



Isn't she pretty?

I know, I'm pathetic. Such excitement over a washing machine.

People keep asking me if I got one of those fancy schmancy front-loading machines. You know, the kind like 99% of the world now has, except for me. Because I'm one of those change-averse people who really likes my top-loading machine, thankyouverymuch. And besides, I'm thinking ahead to the day (very soon, I have a feeling) when my back won't be what it used to be and I just might not be able to bend that far over without hurting something (those front loaders sit real close to the ground, have you noticed?).

So I stuck to my guns and got another top-loader.

Besides, have you seen where I actually have to go to do my laundry? This is so embarrassing, but I will show you the bowels of my home. The dregs, if you will. The ugliest place on my planet, which is probably why I hate doing laundry.

I have to go here:



I know. I'm pathetic.

Life Gets In the Way

I just loved how all the moms of college students chimed in on my weeping issue yesterday. Seems like lots of you can relate to my little “problem.”

You younger moms take note. Because someday you will probably 1) send someone off to college and 2) have hormonal weeping issues yourself. We moms of older children (note that I didn’t say “older moms”) aren’t entirely crazy.

Just semi-crazy.

I was going to write a deep post today about some things I learned at church on Sunday, but that will have to wait for another day because some things have happened that have caused me to stop thinking deeply for a couple of days and just deal with life.

First, I forgot the color of my daughter’s eyes. I am traumatized. In yesterday’s post I wrote at first about looking into her “beautiful brown eyes.” And then I got a message on Facebook that said, “I'm so offended. After 18 years you still don't know the color of my eyes. Blue, mom, very very blue...not brown!”

And you know what? She’s right! She definitely has blue eyes. Very, very blue eyes. I love those blue eyes because, well, they are hers, but also because they are such an anomaly. Between my hazel eyes and my husband’s brown eyes, we should NOT have had a blue-eyed child, but those recessive genes were on our side and we got Kate. And her blueberry eyes. But I completely spaced it out and wrote “brown” instead of “blue” on my post yesterday. (I’ve since corrected it. And she has graciously forgiven me.)

Second, I had to buy a new washing machine yesterday. I woke up on Sunday and my life was in order, but by Sunday night things were definitely going south when I found out our only-five-years-old washing machine wasn’t working right. I called a repairman who came out right away and who kind of gleefully (why would he be happy about this, I ask you?) told me that the motor wasn’t working. It would cost almost as much as a new machine to replace the motor, so I went shopping.

I hate shopping. Especially for things like washing machines. Oh, and did I mention that we had to get a new furnace last month?

The whole situation just wears me out.

Finally, something is wrong with our cable connection. It's not snowing (I KNOW! We're like the only place in America where it's NOT snowing!). It's not raining. The sun was out all day yesterday, and yet, during the BCS National Championship game last night our cable decided to do this crazy fritzing thing. So the announcers sounded something like this: "And now . . . 's got the ball . . . unning down the line . . . down!" Was that a first down? A touch down? What kind of down was it? Do you know how exhausting it is to try to fill in all those blanks?

A night of football bliss just turned into a . . . -ight . . . foo--all . . . -liss. Exhausting, I tell you.

And so, sometimes life just doesn’t go as planned. In fact, I’m finding that rarely does my life go as planned. In fact, I should probably just stop planning.

I guess that’s what they mean when they say, “just hang on and enjoy the ride.”

Please Tell Me We're Normal

These are just some of the topics we covered at dinner last night . . .

- racism

- Sarah Palin/Kate Goselin (DID YOU SEE THAT??!!)

- Chicago mayoral elections (always interesting)

- Rod Blagojevich (question: is he stupid or not?)

- Benjamin Franklin's virtues (Maggie had to journal about this for a class. I was so proud when she told us that she has her own set of virtues and they're called The Fruit of the Spirit. Yea!)

- the new Congress (this took a while)

- "It's a Wonderful Life" (I know. We just can't seem to let it go.)

So, what did you talk about last night?

Monday Morning Mayhem

Good Monday Morning! I'm going to be brief here because there are places to go and people to see and lots to do today.

Our weekend was . . . in a word . . . busy. But so much fun!

Friday night was party #1 with a sweet young family from church here for dinner. The best part was watching Maggie, who is just starting to babysit, have so much fun with their two-year-old daughter. I don't know what it is, but I just love watching my girls nurture other little kids. We work in the nursery once a month and it's fun to see them interact with the babies there too. So sweet!

Saturday night was Party #2--the high school youth group progressive dinner. It's a fun event where the kids get dressed up in formal wear and travel to three different homes for three courses of the meal. Then they all end up back at church for dessert and a special time together.

We, of course, had the main course, so I went with my old standby for things like this: chicken parmesan, pasta, and bread. It was so good--one of my favorite meals--and soooo easy. One happy mama here.

Sunday. Oh Sunday. You just about kicked me to the corner, but I survived. The day started out at church which was wonderful and restful and Christmas-y. We then ran home to scurry around to get ready for Party #3 which, I thought, was going to be a group of college students coming over for pizza. But then I decided to look at my phone and found a text from the night before (silly me! How could I have gone to bed before 11:30 and missed the text?!) telling me that Party #3 was going to have to be postponed until after Christmas Break. College kids had other plans.

No worries. I had plenty to do to get ready for Party #4. So I spent the afternoon polishing silver, setting tables, and baking homemade rolls. Until we had to GOT to go to Abby's concert at the high school. This year the high school gave us parents presents--they cut the concert down from three hours to one hour. Wasn't that nice of them? Actually, they split it into two concerts so we only had to go to one. The one Abby was in.

Here's the best part of their program: everyone stands while the choirs sing and the musicians accompany the Halleluia Chorus. Can you believe that? In a very large public high school?

Can I just tell you that I love our community? I do.

After the concert we rushed over to church to listen to our church choir put on their annual "Lessons and Carols" program. Amazing. It's like a professional choir and a professional orchestra singing and playing the most beautiful Christmas music of all time. I loved it.

It made me feel all Christmas-y again.

And then there was the small matter of a church meeting after the concert which pretty much crushed that Christmas-y feeling. But I think I'm recovered now.

The Christmas-y feeling is back. And just in time too, because tonight is Party #4 (or #3 if you're really keeping track). We're hosting the pastoral staff from our church with their spouses. About 30 people in all.

As Maggie put it the other day, "Wow, that's a lot of holy in one place."

So if you don't hear from me for a few days you'll understand why. Four parties in four days (almost). But you know, it's what I do. I party. And I cook. And I host.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

P.S. I was just kidding about the not hearing from me for a few days part. I'll be back later today with a Christmas Tour of Homes post. Lots of fun going on at Nester's place today.

And the GIVEAWAYS!! I've got some giveaways lined up this week that you will NOT want to miss.

So I'll be back. I hope you will too.

Happy Monday!

My kids think I'm weird.

I can't help it, but every time that Black Eyed Peas song "I've Got a Feeling" comes on the radio, I just start bopping. And singing. And smiling!

I KNOW! Weird, right?

I don't know why, but that song makes me happy.

So, in an effort to share the love, and to help make your Monday a little happier too, I'm sharing this video. The crew of the Today Show it together, and Emily at "Chatting at the Sky" shared it over the weekend. I thought it was cute.

Weird, huh?



Happy Monday, everyone!

Monday Morning Mayhem

I kind of liked that title from last week (or was it two weeks ago?) so I though I’d use it again. So creative, aren’t I?

So much to tell you. Keep reading to the end because I have some exciting news for you!

First, I want to thank those of you who took time to pray for me on Saturday. The women’s retreat went well, and I know it was because I was bathed in prayer. I could not have done it without all of you pray-ers out there, so thank you.

Cool God story. Before the retreat, I had planned out my morning in my mind, and part of my plan just might have involved Starbucks and a steaming hot cup of really good coffee to get my day going. So I drove through the Starbucks near my house, shaking slightly from the nerves and adrenalin that were starting to build up in my body.

When I got to the window to pay for my coffee, the girl who worked there said to me, “Um, you know what? . . .”

I was ready to get more money out. I honestly thought she had told me the wrong amount through the little squawk box and that I needed to give her a few pennies more.

Instead she said, “You know what? The lady in the car ahead of you just paid for your drink.”

I cannot tell you what that meant to me. Immediately I started to cry. The girl at the window probably thought I was nuts, but I thought it was just amazing that God had used that little thing—a woman paying it forward—to show me that He was with me. I had never, ever, in my entire life had something like that happen to me. Never. And it really felt like confirmation from God that my day would be O.K.

And it was. I had so much fun getting to know the ladies from Our Savior’s. They were so sweet, so genuine, and so warm. I really enjoyed being with them.

So now we’re on to a new week. One more week of school before two of my girls are off for a week. Woo hoo! Back in the day, the hard days when the girls were really little, I thought I’d dread school holidays because, well, the kids would be home. But now that our lives are so full (read: “busy”) I really look forward to their breaks when we can be home together and put our feet up and get away from the routine for a while.

Plus, I love Thanksgiving. Even though the retailers get nothing out of the holiday and they seem to feel like they can just skip right over it, Thanksgiving just makes me happy. So I’m looking forward to next week. A lot.

What else? Last night we had a bunch of Kate’s college friends over for pizza. It may not be that much fun for them (although the free pizza probably isn’t a bad deal), but it sure is fun for the P’s. We love having those kids around. Always good for a laugh. Plus, one of the guys who was here, we discovered last night, now lives in the same room that B lived in his Sophomore year. Pretty small world, huh?



O.K. . . . here’s the exciting news. I’ve got a new monthly writing gig over at the MODsquad blog. I’m especially excited about it because MOD stands for Mothers Of Daughters, which, as you know, I am one. And if you know me at all, you know I’m pretty passionate about raising girls. I guess they wanted the voice of an “older” mom, or maybe a mom of “older” girls, I don’t know, but I guess I fit the bill. I’m older, and I have older girls, so there.

Not sure if I should be flattered or run away. Oh well. I think I’m in now, and I’ll be writing every month over there.

In fact, my first post is up and running over there today (it might look vaguely familiar, but that’s O.K.). Head over to the MODsquad blog and check it out!

Now tell me, how was your weekend? Anything amazing or crazy happen to you this weekend?

Monday Morning Mayhem

Don't you just love that Allstate commercial that's on right now? That guy who plays Mayhem and drives all over town creating a ruckus? Those commercials just make me laugh. Which is why I chose the word "Mayhem" for my title.

And also because that word pretty much signifies my life right now.

Of course I could have titled this post "Monday Morning Mundane" because one woman's mayhem is another woman's mundane. But who would click on that link and actually want to read it? I'll tell you who . . . NOBODY! Which I why I opted for mayhem over mundane.

And I realized as I was thinking (for all of 10 seconds) about this post that I very rarely let you glimpse into all of the mundane mayhem that is my life, so today's your day.

Aren't you so glad you clicked over?

Let's start with last Thursday, when B and I attended a public policy debate titled "Does Capitalism Have a Soul?" I'll save you the brain cells . . . it doesn't. Anyway, we really enjoyed the debate (if you can call it that--it was more like a discussion) and created a little mayhem of our own as B pumped his fist every time he got an answer right. Which means that Arthur Brooks, the conservative on the panel, said something B already had already whispered in my ear. He's so competitive, that boy.

Friday's mayhem involved taking Maggie to see "Great Expectations" over at the college. Her friend, B, who is also Amy's daughter, played young Estella . . . . Marvelously, I might add. The mayhem part was trying to get Maggie away from B after the play was over . . . at 11:00 P.M.! My head was spinning I was so tired and hot because the theater was very small and very warm.

Saturday was a bit of a relief from the mayhem. After a relaxing morning in a beautiful home honoring a wonderful girl with a baby shower, I came home and relaxed for most of the afternoon. And then relaxed some more that night as Maggie and I watched "Julie and Julia" together. (It was on sale at Target for $10 last week, and I couldn't resist that bargain.)

Sunday's mayhem started out with a cute joke by our pastor. He said that even though the passage we were about to study was a bit "tricky," when taken in its proper biblical context it would prove to be a "treat." I think I was the only one who got his slight nod to Halloween as I loudly guffawed and everyone turned to stare at me. Believe me, this happens more than one would hope it would. Am I the only one who gets British humor?

And then there was last night . . . true mayhem as 20 college students descended on my home. They ate. And ate. And ate some more, but we did have plenty of food (thank goodness!). We watched the Giants pretty much crumble the Rangers underneath their thumbs. And B and I finally got to meet and spend time with some of Kate's friends. It was a great night.

So there. Mayhem? Yes. Busy? Always. Mundane? I don't think so.

This is my life. And I love it.

How about you? What do you love about your life? Is it full of mayhem too? Tell me about it!




P.S. Why not create a little mayhem of your own? Be sure to go VOTE tomorrow!

Let's Take a Tour

This is my creative place. The place where I do most of my writing and thinking and preparing.

I have this little basket next to my chair that usually holds my current projects, books I'm reading, etc., but this morning it started to overflow. As in Mount Vesuvius. So I decided to tackle the mess.

And I made an even bigger mess.

Why, oh why do I ever start organizing? It only leads to anxiety and blog posts when I should be doing other things, like getting ready for a women's retreat I'm speaking at in two weeks. Argh!

Anyway, I thought maybe you'd like a tour of this mess. Because touring other people's messes is always such a thrill, but it just might make you feel somewhat O.K. about your own messes. Or maybe I'm doing this for me because by writing my way through it I might actually be able to figure out what to do with it all.

So really, you're helping me out. Thank you.

So here goes. A little insight into my very messy work habits.

First you see my computer in the foreground. On top of it is a church bulletin from last May with some notes I wanted to save. If I take notes in church (which is probably about half the time) I type them into a file I have titled, creatively, "Sermon Notes." And then I throw away the bulletin. But usually there are about 10 church bulletins floating around various locations in my house, from the top of my desk to my catch-all basket or even shoved into my Bible. All from at least 6 months ago.

Help me!

To the right of my computer sits my Bible with my glasses on top. Can't really do much without either of those.

And to the right of my Bible--all those file folders?--are projects I'm currently working on or old project files that need to be, well, filed. A women's retreat. Two Christmas teas. A retreat I did way back in March.

I'm hopeless.

Behind those files, further to the right, is a pile of garbage. Walking it there now . . . .

I'm back.

Now let's look to the left of the chair. These are all things I just don't have a clue what to do with.

The yellow binder pile is some old literature notes from college. College! That was more than 25 years ago, folks! Not that the binder has been sitting there for 25 years--I'm sure I was using it for something within the past year. What do you think? Time to take it back to the box in the basement?

The pile behind the yellow binder and to the left is a stack of books I'm currently using for research or reading for pleasure. I'm one of those people who can't read more than one book at a time, so the stack is pretty small. It's the only pile that should go back in the basket.

And then there's this.

Twelve books, not all mine, that have been lying around my room collecting dust for who knows how long. Some are borrowed. Some were given to me at various events. Some are actually mine. But do you have any idea how long it would take me to actually read all of these books? Pretty much forever.

I'm not a very fast reader.

Besides, without naming names, (*cough, cough* Joyce Meyer *cough, cough*), I'm just not that into you.

It's time to give these books back to their rightful owners, to put them back on my bookshelf, or to just chuck them into a box in the basement. If they haven't been read already (a few have!) they just are not going to be read any time soon.

Besides, a quick glance next to my bed would reveal a stack of four more books that I need to read.

Ah, me. I'm a mess. But I'm working on it, and today is a good start.

How about you? Are you a mess too? (Please tell me you are.) What areas of your house need to be tackled today?

It is Well. So Very Well.

Every Wednesday night at 7, I grab my Bible and my 7th grader and head over to church for a couple of hours. I hang out in a too-small room with about 85 sweaty, smelly junior high kids.

We play games.

We talk about the Bible.

We pray.

And we sing. Always there is singing.

I have the privilege of hanging out with a small group of girls each week. Maggie is one of them. A few of the girls who were in a Bible study at my house last year are in the group as well, along with a handful of girls I knew-but-didn’t-really-know-before.

It’s great to be with these girls each week.

Two girls in our group are very special to me, to all of us. K and A are middle school girls with special needs. At a time when everyone is trying to be the same, these girls are different, and we love them—they add so much to our group.

You know what I love best about them? They are still uninhibited. Every other junior high girl in that room is self-conscious. You can see it the minute you walk in the room--their arms crossed in front of them as their eyes scan quickly to see who’s talking to whom and who’s wearing what.

But not K and A. They are best friends, and the minute they see one another they run into each other’s arms, greeting each other with a huge hug. And then they start to communicate in their own unique way.

K talks . . . . and talks . . . . and talks.

A likes to dance. So when she sees her friend she jumps up and down and claps her hands wildly.

See? Uninhibited. I love it.

Last week in the junior high group we did all the things we usually do. We played a raucous game of Shuffle Your Buns—in the dark with flashing disco lights. We talked about the Bible. We shared prayer requests.

And we sang one of my favorite hymns: “It Is Well With My Soul.” Can you believe it? Eighty-five self-conscious junior high kids singing that wonderful old hymn together.

That’s amazing in itself.

K and A were sitting just behind me, and I could just see them out of the corner of my eye. During this song something caught my attention, so I turned around to see what was going on.

There was A, dancing to “It Is Well,” clapping her hands and jumping up and down like she was in a mosh pit. And why not, really? The song is totally mosh pit worthy.

K, likewise, was doing the thing she loves—singing at the top of her lungs. Belting it out because she knows every word.

Imagine . . . a room full of self-conscious teenagers, worried to death about being found out as someone who might actually like singing or playing games or (*gasp!*) church.

And here are these two girls who just. don’t. care. About what anyone thinks.

They only want to sing and dance because they love Jesus. And they don’t care who knows it.

When peace like a river attendeth my way.
When sorrows like sea billows roll.
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul.
It is well. It is well.
With my soul.

Good Reads

Happy weekend! In fact, happy loooong weekend. Seems like bankers and school children alike have a three-day weekend this weekend which means that the Wild Fam will all be together. Mostly.

We're taking the two-who-remain to an undisclosed location for part of the weekend. I'll tell you all about it next week because it should be fun.

But what say we play a little game? Can you figure out where we are if I give you just three little words?

Stovepipe. Civil. Penny.

There. You should be able to guess.

Now, just in case I haven't entertained you enough this week with great memories and good food, here are some of my favorite posts from this week (and maybe one or two from last).

Flowerpatch Farm Girl is my kind of gal. She's funny. She's spunky. And she's full of life. Plus, she loves her children more than anything. This post is a tribute to her sweetie called Ruby. Celebrate with her today.

A few weeks back I gave you instructions about how to set up a feed reader. My instructions took a lot of words. Jo-Lynne managed to explain it much more simply in this post.

Oh my goodness, I almost jumped up and down as I read this post by Don Miller this week because this is something that I SO resonate with, and it's something that B and I talk about. A lot.

And since I'll be headed out on a retreat in a couple of weeks, this post by Jon Acuff totally made me laugh. Because it is pretty much 100% true.

And this one? Just. Plain. Cool.

There you go. Happy reading! Happy weekend.