Here’s my annual “favorite books” post. Join me here for my favorite fiction reads for 2021!

What a week it’s been!

One week ago, I was peacefully sleeping in an inn in the Cotswolds, doing research for next year’s trip, when my husband called at 2 a.m. to tell my that my mom had passed away. Thus began one of the craziest weeks of my life.

My creativity feels like it’s been sapped over the past 18 months. I haven’t felt like writing much at all; the writing I have done has been in my private journals. And most of that has been processing what I’ve been reading in the Bible. I’ve found that I really love that kind of writing—the reflective journaling about God’s word.

This week I started reading the book of Judges, and in the second chapter, God gives the Israelites judges to help settle disputes between them and their enemies. These judges aren’t harsh rulers who impose unfair laws—at least that’s not how they were intended.

There’s a fairly well-known story in the Bible about Balaam and his donkey, in which the donkey calls out his owner for beating him. But there’s more to the story than just a talking donkey. Balaam, the donkey’s owner, is a prophet, but a pretty bad one because, as the Bible makes clear, he’s a guy who can be bought to say whatever a powerful king wants to hear.

People have asked me lately, “What are you working on right now?” And this: “What has Covid taught you?”

Those are both hard questions to answer because mostly I’m working on waiting. You would think that what Covid has taught me is patience, but I’m not even sure that’s right. I’m not that patient. I’m not that good at waiting. But right now, I don’t have much of a choice.

Our world needs builders today when all around us so much tearing down is taking place. We tear down houses right and left, unappreciative or unaware of their history. We tear down each other with words hastily chosen. We tear down our institutions that have served us for generations.

We are so good at tearing down. But building? Not so much.

Earlier this week, my husband and I took a short, post-holiday getaway, and while we were driving to our destination we spent some time reflecting on the year. To my surprise, he focused on the good things that happened this year, while I, suffering from a huge “2020-was-a-bummer” hangover, tended to think about all that was hard.

Listen, 2020 was a really hard year for me. Like, so hard. But I’ve realized that writing out all the bad things won’t make them go away. Delineating my stressors won’t make them seem smaller or easier. The hard is just hard, so why dwell on it?

I think, here at the end of the year, that the Lord is asking me to put my mind on the positives of 2020. To remember that, despite the hard, we still experienced so much good from God’s hand.

Here are some of the positives from 2020 that we talked about.

As I sat down to write this post, I looked back over my year-end “favorite book” posts from the past couple of years. The last line of my post from last year was “Let’s make 2020 a great year!”

I just have to laugh.

No one could have predicted what a year we’d have this year. For me, most of 2020 felt like a slog through the mud, barely being able to drag one foot in front of the other. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, processing, dreaming, and, (mostly) waiting.

And reading.

Every year I choose a word to focus my thinking. I never know at the beginning of the year what my word will be. I pray about it, wait, think a bit, and usually something will continue to pop up until I can’t ignore it any longer.

Last year, I didn’t think I would even choose a word, but early in 2019 the word “perspective” kept coming up over and over again until I couldn’t deny that this was the word God wanted me to focus on. I never wrote about it, but I thought about that word often—it popped up everywhere! And, boy, did I need a healthy dose of perspective last year. . . .

This year, my word didn’t find me until about a month into the year. Just like last year, I thought maybe I wouldn’t need a word to guide my thinking this year. I figured I could take a year off. But then this word regularly crept into my thoughts and into my hearing. It’s like I couldn’t get rid of it.

Finally, I gave in. Now, here we are, six months into 2020 and I’m finally sharing my word with you.

Last week I posted an article from Christianity Today that denounced the president’s use of the Bible as a prop. Unfortunately, the comments on that post turned political—something I never want to happen on my page.

So, I took an antibody test this week to see if I had had COVID earlier this year. Like many people, I was sick in early March, and the symptoms were enough to make me wonder. I have good reasons to want to know if I have had the virus, mainly a couple of dear people—my parents—who I desperately want to see.

I got the results back today. Negative. I did not have COVID.

In my heart, I was dreading it. I knew my birthday would happen under quarantine, and I just knew it would be, shall we say, less than stellar.

Or at least, that’s what I anticipated.

I kept giving myself pep talks in the week before my birthday: “Come on! What do you expect? It’s QUARANTINE!” and “Seriously? You’re a woman-of-a-certain-age. Birthdays shouldn’t be a big deal anymore.” and “Get over yourself! This isn’t about you!”

Endurance: John 15:18-27

In this section of his teaching, Jesus warns his disciples that once he is gone they are going to have to put up with all kinds of persecution. He explains that things here in the world are contrary to the things of Christ because Christ and the world are enemies.

In fact, he goes so far as to tell his followers that the world will hate them because it hated Jesus himself. These are scary words to people who would soon be left without Jesus to physically lead them. How would they carry on?

With endurance.

Love: John 15:12-17

Love was Jesus’s motivation in everything he did. Love led him to lay aside his heavenly throne and come to earth. Love caused him to live on earth and show compassion to the lost and the hurting.

Love led Christ to the cross.

And now, as he continues his instruction to his friends, he asks his disciples to love one another because this, and this alone, is how the world will know that they are from God.

They love each other.

Courage: John 14:31

“Rise, let us go from here.”

In this simple, declarative statement, Jesus shows such courage because he knows what’s ahead of him.

Beatings. Betrayal. The cross. Death.

And yet he says to his disciples, “Let’s go. Let’s do this thing.”

In the last hours of Jesus’s life, we see a man who stayed on mission. He was clear about his purpose: to glorify God (John 13:31). And he was clear about his disciples’ purpose: to show the world the love of God (John 13:35).

Let’s set the scene. Jesus and his disciples have been sharing a meal together, the one commonly known as the Last Supper. Jesus had been preparing his followers all along for the crushing events that would come within the next few hours, but now he has some final words of instruction. It was an intimate time, kind of like a dinner party with your closest friends.

But first, Jesus has one final act to perform. He fills a bowl with water, grabs a towel, and stoops to kneel in front of Peter. Peter is astonished! “What are you doing?!” he cries.

I’m losing track of the days now.

At first I kept a mental count at all times. Day 1 . . . Day 3 . . . Day 6 . . .

I caught a cold two weeks before Illinois officially was declared a “shelter-in-place” state, and because everyone kept saying “Don’t go out if you’re sick!” . . . I didn’t. I stayed put, for the most part, for two weeks BEFORE they said we had to stay in. So I’ve been sheltering for a while now.

Which is why I’ve lost count.