Letters to My Daughters: Choose Joy (Part 1)
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Dear Daughters,
Remember this? “Make a good choice, my friend!”
It rings in our ears, makes us smile, and sometimes even
makes us roll our eyes. This phrase became a joke in our family, even though it
was no joke to the teacher who repeated this phrase over and over again in
elementary school.
But, you know, she was right.
The choices you make today will affect how well
you live later on.
Today I want to talk to you about a choice you can make
right now that will affect your relationships both today and in the
future. This choice will help guide the way you live both now and tomorrow and
it will affect every relationship you have.
Choose joy.
Yes, this might sound like a cliché, but I tell you as one
who did not make this choice for many years: choosing joy brings life to you
and to those around you. A deep, abiding joy will serve you well in life—I encourage
you to find it.
First, though, I want to warn you about three joy-suckers that
will kill your soul. Watch out for them. Flee any temptation to give in to
them. Your life will not be rich and full if you allow these joy-suckers into
it.
What are they? Comparison. Criticism. Contempt.
Comparison. This
one sucks the joy out of you because it makes you feel less-than. When we look
around at what others have or what others have achieved, thinking that we
should have the same or better, we assume God has slighted us, dealt us a bad
hand.
This is a lie because the Bible tells us that we are His
beloved and that He watches over our coming and our going. God also asks us to
trust Him to lead us. Why should we want what others have when God has our own
best interest at heart?
Criticism. This
one sucks the joy out of those around us, hurting our own hearts in the
process. It’s a subtle form of comparison that, rather than making us feel
less-than, makes us feel superior to others.
This is a lie, too, because the Bible says that no one is
perfect, that all have sinned. When we criticize, we act as judge—a job we have
not been given.
Contempt.
Contempt can be a two-pronged problem because we can view either ourselves or
others in this way. Contempt says that God made a mistake when He made us or
those around us.
What a lie! God says that His creation was “good” and that
His people are His delight.
So how do we find joy?
Joy comes, I think, when, rather than compare ourselves to
others, we join with others, seeing the good in them, seeing potential for a
bigger life and a greater adventure.
Joy comes when, instead of criticizing, we choose to build
someone up in love.
Joy comes when, instead of treating someone with contempt,
we choose to treat them with kindness and that kindness is returned.
Joy comes when, rather than sneering with contempt at what
God has made, we choose to rejoice in His blessings. Even something as simple
as the weather (which I do tend to complain about sometimes) can be a good
indication of where we are with God. Are we saying, “This is the
day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it”? Or are we grumbling
and complaining, when all that really does is tell God that we think he could do
better?
My dear girls, today I encourage you to choose the path of
joy because this is a path that leads to contentment and peace. Trust me, your
life will be richer and the lives of those around you will be blessed if you
choose joy over comparison, criticism, or contempt.
I love you,
Mom
P.S. I have more to say about joy, but I’ll share it later
this week.
