Letters to My Daughters - Letting Go
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Dear Daughters,
I understand why they do it. Those moms who hold their
children close—so close that they can’t even breathe.
I know why they stand at the kindergarten door, hands cupped
around their face, nose pressed against the glass, just hoping to get a glimpse
of their little one as he marches into the classroom for the very first time.
I know why they sit on the sidelines for every. single.
soccer practice and that, while it looks like they’re reading a magazine, they
are really watching their middle schooler run and kick and slide because they
are so proud that they made such an amazing person who can do those things.
I know why they volunteer for every opportunity they can—the
marching band or the dance team or the school play—because it gives them just a
few more minutes to be with their high school child; just one more point of
connection with a kid who will very soon be gone.
I know why, when they drop their son or daughter off at
college, they look over their shoulder and say, “Your room will be waiting for
you when you get home!”
I get it. I’ve been it, that smothering mother. (You
probably think I still am.)
But there’s a difference between some of those moms and me:
I have raised you to let you go.
On the day I first became a mother I knew in my heart that I
wouldn’t—couldn’t—hold you near me forever. I wanted to give the three of you
wings. I wanted you to discover all that this big, wide world had to offer, and
I wanted you to make your own path through it.
As much as I could, I showed you the world: Brazil.
Switzerland. England. I did this intentionally, to trigger your imagination, to
encourage you to see the possibilities. Mostly, though, to help you see that God is in all of it and that His plans for
the world include you.
Yes, I believe in letting go.
That doesn’t make it easy.
This is a big week of transitions for us. A week in which it
would be easy for me to stay under my covers, blocking out the fact that two of
you are starting new schools and one of you is taking big steps toward
adulthood. This is a week that seems important and huge and permanent. This is
one of those weeks that I hope I’ve prepared each of you for, and yet, a week
that I wish I had not been so intentional about.
A week in which I wish I could say, “Come back! Stay here!”
Those moms? The ones who hold a little too tightly? Me, if
I’m honest. They hold on because they love their kids. They hold on because
they want to stay involved in the lives of their kids. They hold on because
they think that if they don’t, their kids will leave them forever.
They do it because it
hurts so very much to let go.
Needtobreathe has a new song out—when I heard it for the
first time this week I stopped in my tracks. I needed this reminder to keep
holding you not quite so tightly.
Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you
Keep your eyes open, my love
So tell me you’re strong, tell me you see
I need to hear it, can you promise me to
Keep your eyes open, my love
Girls, the “great unknown” is out there, waiting for you to
make a difference in it. Keep your eyes open and do that—make a difference.
Prove me right.
