Why I Don’t Do Prime Day

Today’s the day.

“A 2-Day Parade of Epic Deals” as Amazon calls it.

You won’t see these kinds of deals until Black Friday, which is four months from now.

But I don’t “do” Prime Day (and I don’t do Black Friday, either), and here’s why.

Let’s say I need a new blender (I do, actually). The kind of blender I’d normally buy costs around $100, but I don’t pay full price for anything, so I wait for it to go on sale. Let’s say my dream blender goes on sale for $80. I’m willing to wait to pay $80 for a good blender.

“But it’s Prime Day!” you tell me. Deals to be had!

Yes, there are some great deals, but for me? Not so much. I’m a fairly typical person, so here’s what I’m guessing Amazon is betting on happening with most of their customers.

My dream blender goes on sale for $60 on Prime Day. I’m tempted. My fingers hover over the keyboard, just begging to click “Add to Cart.” It’s a good deal. (Remember, I was willing to pay $80 for it.)

But is it?

Because just then I remember my author-friend’s Instagram post that told me I can get $5 off books if I buy $15 worth of merchandise. How many books cost $15? Exactly none. I have to buy TWO books to get the $5 off. So let’s say two books at $11 each, minus the $5 off. I just spent $22 on books I didn’t really plan to buy right now.

(This may or may not have happened in real life.)

So now my $60 blender has just cost me $82.

But wait! Before I hit “Purchase” I scan my email where I see an article titled “If You’re Going to Buy One Prime Day Item, Make It This.” How can I resist? What’s the absolute best deal I can get on Prime Day? This reader’s gotta know!

It’s a Roomba. You know, one of those round vacuums that troll creepily around your house while you’re at work. This is a true luxury item at a retail price of $450, but today I can get it for $300. That’s a whopping 33% off! Sounds like a great deal, even though I’ve never considered buying a Roomba before.

It’s in my cart. Time to check out.

All of a sudden, the blender that I thought was an amazing deal at $60 (for which I was willing to pay $80) has cost me an additional $22 in books and $300 for a vacuum that I’ll probably never use because the layout of my house really isn’t conducive to it.

Oh sure, you say, I’m getting the other products too. And you’d be right. In just two days I’ll have two new books (hooray!) and a vacuum that I’ll never use (boo!).

And I’ve just spent $382 for a blender.

And that, my friends, is why I stay far, far away from Prime Day.