When You’re Faced With Impossible Decisions

Oh mama. I see you. 

I see the exhaustion in your eyes. I see the way you grip the steering wheel, white-knuckled, just willing yourself to push through the next few hours. I see the confusion, the anxiety, the stress in your eyes. I see the overwhelm of the decisions you need to make, not just on your face, or in your eyes, but in the way you carry yourself, as if you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders. 

Because you do. 

The decisions facing parents today really ARE overwhelming—what do I do about school this fall? What if I make the wrong decision? What if my friends choose something different than I do? What if I’m not cut out for homeschooling? What if I WANT my kid to go to school—will I be judged?

Impossible decisions. 

And what if schools shut down again and parents still need to go to work? What then? What if we start and everything reverts back to the way it was last spring? Seems like last spring was mostly a no-win for everyone involved. 

Oh mamas, I feel for you. I really do. I can’t even imagine what I would do in your shoes right now. Curl up in a ball and cry, maybe? The pressure must be intense. 

May I offer you a little encouragement today? Three things have been rolling around in my brain for weeks now, as I’ve watched you. 

1. There is no right or wrong answer. And not just that, you won’t scar your kid for life if you choose one or the other . . . or even another. I have learned over the years that kids are resilient, and one tough year might actually help build their character rather than destroy it. And if your child isn’t with their friends this year, should you choose a path different from another parent, your child will be just fine.

2. You are not alone. I know that as you work through your decisions for next year you may feel like you’re on your own, but you’re not. Every other parent is making decisions for their children right now, too. And the rest of us, those who don’t have kids in school right now, are cheering you on. I, for one, am praying for you. These are the worst days most of us have seen. Impossible days. We all feel that, but we also recognize that for you, it’s especially hard. We’re with you.

3. This is a season. This is nothing new to God, but maybe it helps to be reminded that this is a season. A more difficult season, for sure, but a season nonetheless. In Ecclesiastes 3, the author says, “For everything there is a season.” Everything. EVERYTHING. Even Covid. This situation, and the difficult decisions that come with it, won’t last forever, even though it feels like it will. And just like the cyclical nature of seasons, the only sure thing we can count on in this life isn’t stability—it’s change. So hold on through this season and wait for change.

*****

I recently read the story of King Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20, and it encouraged me so much. In fact, I can’t stop thinking about it. Maybe it will encourage you too. 

Here is a king (one of the good ones, by the way) in a no-win situation, surrounded by enemies and about to be devoured by them. Things were looking bleak. But as he prepared for battle, verse 3 says,

“Then Jehoshaphat was afraid and set his face to seek the Lord.”

He prepared his troops, yes, but he also acknowledged his fear. How did he deal with his fear? He sought the Lord. And it’s not just a flippant seeking—the bible says “he set his face.” In other words, he earnestly kept looking to God.

Sometimes I know in my heart that this is what I should do, but I don’t really do it. I may pray once or twice about a situation, but I somehow feel like I’m bugging God about it. But Jehoshaphat’s example encourages me to not just pray once, but to set my face toward God and to keep seeking him for answers.

The story continues. Jehoshaphat gathers all the people of Judah and Jerusalem together and prays a beautiful public prayer before they all go out to what they assumed would be their slaughter. And at the end of his prayer, this good king says these words that have stayed with me since I read them a few weeks ago:

“We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” (2 Chron. 20:12)

I think most of us have been in that situation a time or two. Maybe you’re feeling like that right now—you just don’t know what to do. I have talked to so many moms lately who, each one, shake their head and shrug their shoulders, some have even cried because they absolutely do not know what to do with their kids this fall.

I don’t know what to tell you. I can’t make those decisions for you. But what I would encourage you to do today is to keep your eyes on the Lord. He loves you. He loves your children. And he will guide you and help you through what feels like an impossible situation.

In the end, the Lord gave the people victory over their enemies. I’m sure it was a tough battle—seems like God’s people were always outnumbered—but he was always with them, giving them the win. And do you know what they did to celebrate? They worshipped.

2 Chronicles 20:27-30 says, “Then they returned, every man of Judah and Jerusalem, and Jehoshaphat at their head, returning to Jerusalem with joy, for the Lord had made them rejoice over their enemies. They came to Jerusalem with harps and lyres and trumpets, to the house of the Lord. And the fear of God came on all the kingdoms of the countries when they heard that the Lord had fought against the enemies of Israel. So the realm of Jehoshaphat was quiet, for his God gave him rest all around.” 

The battle was over. Judah had conquered their enemies. And they worshipped.

But do you see something else? Jehoshaphat’s faithfulness, God’s victory, the people’s worship—it all culminated in a witness to the world around them. “And the fear of God came on all the kingdoms of the countries . . .”

Friends, even now, perhaps especially now, how we handle these big decisions is speaking volumes to those around us. Do our neighbors see us giving in to fear? Or do they see us seeking the face of God? Do they see our anger and frustration bubbling over? Or do they see our worship? Do we react like those who don’t know Christ? Or is there something different about how we respond to trials?

And then there is the final result: rest. (Oh, this passage is so rich!) God granted the entire kingdom rest. Do you long for rest? Not just physical rest, but maybe right now, you need rest from the thoughts that keep swirling around in your mind. Trust in God. Seek him. And have faith that, like Jehoshaphat, you will come through this trial and that, in the end, God will grant you “rest all around,” just as he did to this faithful king.

 *****

Maybe you feel like you’re in an impossible situation right now. I’d love to pray for you. Feel free to comment below or send me an email, and I will be sure to pray.