Talking to Your Kids about Coronavirus

I grew up loving O’Hare airport because my dad loved airplanes.

Back then, before airport security became a thing, Dad would sometimes load our family into our blue Chevy station wagon and drive an hour to O’Hare just to walk through the terminals and stare out the huge plate-glass windows at the massive jets.

Well, he’d stare at the jets; I’d watch the people. Everyone dressed up with somewhere exotic to go. This was a life I wanted, and I dreamed of becoming a flight attendant or a travel agent when I grew up.

Then, on May 25, 1979, when I was a sophomore in high school, an American Airlines DC-10 crashed upon takeoff at O’Hare. Everyone on board was killed. The story flooded our news for weeks and made a huge impression on me as a teenager—no longer did I dream of becoming a flight attendant.

In fact, I became very afraid of flying, even though I didn’t fly much for many years after that. For years, I practically placed a death-grip on the armrest every time I had to endure a takeoff or landing. Pity the poor person sitting next to me as my legs bounced up and down, my nervous fear spilling out around me.

Today, I find myself flying quite a bit and I’m much calmer about it than I used to be, but still, every time we take off I think about the possibility of crashing. Every time.

Even though I know that, theoretically, flying is safer than driving in a car, and even though some really smart people have figured out how to make those machines stay in the air, I still pray hard that God’s righteous right hand (and even his left!) would hold up the plane until I’m safely on the ground.

My fear of flying is irrational, I know, but I have learned to battle it with God’s help. Every time I’m on a plane I feel my mortality, but I also know truth, and I have learned to counter my fear with a healthy dose of perspective.

Today we are facing new fears of many kinds. In fact, this month the Coronavirus (COVID-19) has become a huge story—a public health crisis like I’ve never seen before. Many are afraid. Some rightly so.

As a parent, you may be wondering how to react in this current situation because, let’s face it, these are scary days. How should we talk to our kids about the Coronavirus, especially when we ourselves might be afraid?

First, we have to ask ourselves what fuels fear. Why does fear spread like wildfire? Misinformation—we simply don’t have a firm grip on the truth. So one way to counter this is to know the truth. God’s truth, for sure, and I’ll get to that. But also, to know the truth about whatever it is we might fear. Go to credible sources like the CDC or American Public Health Association for the most accurate information.

Also, tell your kids what they need to know so that they are not misinformed, but don’t fuel their fear by dwelling on it. Yes, this is serious. Yes, some people have died (mostly the elderly). Yes, it’s spreading quickly, but there are things we can do to help prevent ourselves from getting it. Tell your kids what they need to know and no more.

Finally, and here is where I want to land, have some perspective. Remind your kids that God is in control. The Bible tells us that there is not a single inch of this earth over which God is not sovereign (ruler). Way may not understand how he’s working in this situation, but we can rely on what his word says about him: God is trustworthy. Steadfast. Full of unfailing love. He is sovereign. He knows what’s going on.

The Bible also gives us some perspective on ourselves. I love these words from 2 Timothy 1:7:

“For God gave us not a spirit of fear,

but of power and love and self-control.” 

What does this mean for us as we walk our kids through a crisis?

Power. We can discern truth in this situation because we have the Holy Spirit to guide us. We also have the powerful weapon of prayer over our anxious thoughts. Tap into those sources—the Holy Spirit and prayer—as you seek answers and appropriate responses.

Love. Our love for others should always motivate our actions. Washing our hands is an act of love. Staying home when we’re sick can also be a loving act. Leaving some toilet paper for others who need it is a supremely loving sacrifice as well. (I’m kidding-not-kidding here!) Think of others above yourself.

Self-control. In a crisis, it’s easy to point fingers, to blame, to spend inordinate amounts of time trying to figure things out (which, in this case, seems silly since even the experts don’t have it figured out yet). As a parent, self-control looks like not freaking out in front of our kids—that only causes more fear. And we need to teach our kids to have a measured response in a crisis as well. Talk to them about giving a reasoned, self-controlled answer when the kids at school might be spreading rumors. A level head in a crisis is always necessary. Be that person.

Above all, teach your kids how to respond inwardly when they feel fear—to turn to God, who is sovereign over the whole earth, who is trustworthy in all things, and who loves them at all times. He is our perspective. He is our calm in the storm. He is our rock. And He will reach down to save us.

In Psalm 56, King David was facing a crisis. He was surrounded by his enemies and literally running for his life. If anyone had reason to fear, it was him. But look at his simple response in Ps. 56:3:

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”

 Notice how active this response is—he has decided to put his trust, not in humans or rumors or anything else, but in God alone. This is a response he has learned through other crises and with practice. I think it looks like this: 

Fear —> trust in God

Fear —> trust in God

Fear —> trust in God

Over and over again until it becomes second nature. When your child is afraid, remind them to go to the only source they can trust—God himself—until that response becomes automatic.

The very next verse tells us a little more about David’s perspective:

“In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust;

I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?”

Even in a crisis, even when we’re afraid, we can praise God, whose word can be trusted. Again, we see that David’s trust is active, a choice: “I shall not be afraid.”

And look at David’s final word of perspective here: “What can flesh do to me?”

What is our ultimate fear? For most of us, it’s death. David knew this fear. He was surrounded by enemies and could have easily died, but he knew that even death, when we know God, is not to be feared. Ultimately there is nothing on this earth to fear if our eternal place is secure.

Friends, we need to preach God’s word to ourselves these days, and we need to teach it to our kids. His word is our only source of hope and comfort in this life. And God’s word alone—not news reports, not conspiracy theories, not alarmist blog posts—has exactly the perspective we need to carry us through a storm.